I Want You to Stay

How can you prepare to say goodbye to a person who is about to leave in two or three year’s time when in your heart, you’re still hoping that he will stay? Perhaps, you’ll know what to do when that time comes. For cases like this, preparation is quite inappropriate. But then again a bit of expectation will definitely help you.

I have been thinking of this scenario lately. What if he decides to leave after passing the board exam? What if he decides to settle in Canada and never come back here in the Philippines? What am I supposed to do then? And how come I’m already worrying like this when in the first place, he’s not even worried of me? Or so I thought.

It’s tough to stop developing feelings for someone whom you are closed with and whom you share special moments with. Undoubtedly, I am in this phase right now. Again. Yeah, special moments. This is for me, the best way to describe the hours or minutes or even seconds when I am with him. I’m not yet in love, that I’m certain of. It’s just that these past few weeks, he’s always on my mind. Whenever I have my phone beside me, his messages are the ones I mostly read over and over again, perhaps looking for a hint of tenderness in his words to me.

Looks like my ‘favorite word’ have already been replaced. I have moved on and I now know inside of me that this ‘new’ guy is important. He is really important to me. I want to be with him as much as I could but I know as of the moment that is next to impossibility. I want him to drop by at the house everyday before he goes home but I know he’s very busy and would rather go straight home to rest than exert another ounce of effort to visit me. I want him to text me everyday but again, he’s the type of person who does not text that much.

And most of all, I want him to stay.